What Most People Get Wrong About Leadership & Management (and How to Fix It)

Leadership and management mistakes cost clinics more than most owners realize. Staff leave. Client care suffers. Burnout spreads. And the leader often wonders what went wrong when they were working so hard.

If you run an ABA clinic or lead a clinical team, this guide is for you. Most BCBAs are trained as clinicians, not business leaders. When you step into a leadership role, nobody hands you a manual. You learn by doing—which means you learn by making mistakes.

This article names the ten most common mistakes, explains why they hurt people and outcomes, and gives you practical fixes you can try this week. We’ve organized it as a “spot it and fix it” list, but the real message is simpler: pick one or two mistakes that feel familiar, work on those for a few weeks, and build from there.

Before we dive in, let’s set one ground rule. Ethics and people come first. Always.

Read This First: People, Dignity, and Ethics Come Before Results

Your choices as a leader ripple through your clinic. Every policy, schedule change, and conversation affects real humans. Staff wellbeing shapes client care. Fairness and transparency aren’t soft skills—they’re leadership skills.

“Faster” isn’t better if it harms people. A quick decision that saves you time today might cost you your best BCBA next month. You’re responsible for the decisions you make and the culture you create.

Here’s a quick self-check before major decisions: Would I be comfortable if my team described this decision in a staff meeting? Does this choice protect client care and staff dignity? Am I avoiding a hard conversation by making a quick rule?

If the answer to any of these is “no” or “I’m not sure,” pause. Rethink.

Quick Self-Check

Before schedule changes, pay decisions, caseload shifts, or discipline, ask yourself:

• Who might this harm?
• Is there a less harmful option that still meets the goal?
• Am I being consistent and fair across people and roles?
• Would I be comfortable explaining this decision out loud to the team?
• What support must exist so staff can succeed?

This ethics-first frame matters for every section that follows. When we talk about systems, feedback, and delegation, we’re not talking about “doing whatever it takes to hit numbers.” We’re talking about building a clinic where people want to stay because they’re treated well and can do good work.

Want a simple leadership reset? Use the checklist at the end of this guide and pick one fix to practice this week.

Leadership vs. Management: Simple Definitions That Stop Confusion

One of the most common sources of confusion is mixing up leadership and management. They’re related, but not the same. Understanding the difference helps you know which tool to use and when.

Leadership is about direction. You set the vision and help people want to move toward it. Leadership answers “where are we going?” and “why does it matter?” It runs on influence and trust.

Management is about execution. You plan, organize, and run the systems that make work happen. Management answers “how do we do this?” and “when?” It runs on structure and consistency.

You usually need both, but not in the same moment. A common mix-up: using control (a management move) when people actually need clarity (a leadership move). If your team keeps asking what the priority is, more rules won’t help. They need direction.

Fast Examples

• Leadership looks like setting a clear priority for client care quality.
• Management looks like building a weekly plan so that priority actually happens.
• A mix-up looks like changing rules every week without explaining the goal.

As you read the mistakes below, ask yourself: is this a leadership problem, a management problem, or both?

The Top 10 Leadership and Management Mistakes (And What to Do Instead)

This section is a “spot it and fix it” list. You don’t have to fix all ten at once. In fact, you shouldn’t try. Behavior change works best when you focus on one or two things at a time.

For each mistake, we cover what it looks like, why it hurts, and what to do instead.

How to Use This List

• Circle the two mistakes you tend to make under stress.
• Pick one script or tool to try this week.
• Ask a trusted person for feedback after two weeks.

Mistake #1: Confusing “Being Busy” With Leading

What it looks like: You answer every question, solve every problem, and spend all day in meetings or putting out fires. You feel exhausted but can’t point to any real leadership work you did.

Why it hurts: The team waits on you for every decision. Work slows down. Burnout rises. You never step back to see the bigger picture, so the same problems keep returning.

Do this instead: Set a weekly top priority and protect time to lead. Put your leadership work on your calendar like a client appointment. If it’s not scheduled, it won’t happen.

A simple weekly plan might include:

• One block for clinic priorities (about sixty minutes)
• One block for coaching and culture (about ninety minutes)
• Two blocks for deep work (sixty to ninety minutes each)
• One buffer block for true emergencies (thirty to sixty minutes)

Workplace Example

A scheduling issue becomes a daily emergency because no one owns the process. The director spends all day fixing call-outs but never reviews retention trends. The churn continues because the root cause never gets addressed.

Block one hour this week for “leadership work.” Treat it like a client appointment.

Mistake #2: Unclear Expectations

What it looks like: Different people describe the same job differently. Success is never defined. Staff feel confused about what they’re supposed to do and how their work will be judged.

Why it hurts: Rework, conflict, uneven service quality. Staff feel set up to fail. Resentment builds.

Do this instead: Write down “what good looks like” in plain words. Define the outcome, the boundaries, and the next check-in.

Here’s a simple template:

• Name the outcome (what must happen)
• Name the boundaries (what must not happen)
• Name the check-in plan (when you’ll review it)
• Add a clear definition of done

Workplace Example

A lead RBT thinks they “own” parent training reminders. The supervising BCBA thinks the admin team “owns” it. Nobody does it, and caregivers fall through the cracks.

Choose one role this week and write a five-bullet “what good looks like” list.

Mistake #3: Weak Communication (Or Too Much Noise)

What it looks like: People hear about changes late or through rumors. Updates live in email, Slack, printed binders, and word-of-mouth. Nobody knows which version is current.

Why it hurts: Confusion, mistrust, missed steps. Staff stop trusting official communication because it feels unreliable.

Do this instead: Use one main channel for key updates. Create a predictable rhythm. Repeat important messages.

When you announce a change, say:

• What’s changing
• Why it matters
• What to do next
• Where to ask questions

A simple cadence:

• Weekly: “what matters this week” message on the same day and time
• Mid-week: reminder only for truly critical items
• Monthly: policy or process updates with notes on what changed

Workplace Example

Policy updates live in three different places. Staff follow different versions. When an audit happens, nobody can point to the current rule.

Before your next change, write a four-line message using the template above.

Mistake #4: Not Giving Feedback (Until You’re Upset)

What it looks like: You avoid small feedback conversations because they feel awkward. Frustration builds, and you deliver a big correction that catches the person off guard.

Why it hurts: Fear, defensiveness, repeated mistakes. Staff don’t get a chance to improve before the problem becomes serious. Surprise feedback feels unfair and damages trust.

Do this instead: Give fast, kind, specific feedback. Keep it about behavior, not character.

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Use this script: “I noticed [specific behavior]. The impact was [what it caused]. Next time, please [clear request].”

Deliver feedback close to the event. A two-minute conversation today prevents a thirty-minute conflict next month.

Feedback Script

“I noticed the session notes were submitted two days late. The impact was that billing was delayed. Next time, please submit by end of day Friday. How can I support you to make that happen?”

Pick one small feedback message to give today. Keep it under two minutes.

Mistake #5: Micromanaging

What it looks like: You redo work, check every detail, or require constant updates. You feel like you can’t trust anyone to do things right without your supervision.

Why it hurts: People stop thinking for themselves. Resentment grows. Good staff leave or disengage. Leaders drown in details and have no time for actual leadership.

Do this instead: Set the outcome, give boundaries, and let the person run the plan.

Use a delegation checklist:

• What’s the goal?
• What does “done” mean?
• What decisions can they make alone?
• When’s the next check-in?
• What support do they need from you?

At check-ins, ask coaching questions instead of taking over: “What’s going well? What’s stuck? What have you tried? What do you need from me?”

Workplace Example

An ops manager demands hourly updates on scheduling. Schedulers stop using their own judgment. The manager is overwhelmed, and the schedulers feel micromanaged.

Delegate one task this week and only check in at the agreed time.

Mistake #6: Delegating Without Support (Then Blaming the Person)

What it looks like: You hand off a task with “just handle it” and no training, time, or authority. When it fails, you blame the person.

Why it hurts: Errors, shame, turnover. Staff feel set up to fail. People stop taking initiative because they fear punishment.

Do this instead: Before you delegate, ask:

• Do you have time for this?
• Do you know the steps?
• Do you need me to remove a barrier?
• What help do you want from me?

Give resources, context, and decision rights. Delegation has three parts: authority (permission to make decisions), responsibility (they do the work), and accountability (you still own the final result).

Workplace Example

A new scheduler is told to “fix cancellations” but has no authority to adjust staff start times. The problem continues, and the scheduler is blamed.

Before you delegate, ask the four support questions above.

Mistake #7: Talking More Than You Listen

What it looks like: You solve the problem before fully hearing it. You give advice before asking what the person has already tried. Staff stop bringing issues to you because they don’t feel heard.

Why it hurts: You miss key details. Decisions get worse. People disengage. Problems stay hidden until they become crises.

Do this instead: Ask two questions before giving an answer: “What have you tried so far? What do you think is the best next step?”

Make space for quieter staff to speak. Resist the urge to fix immediately. Try a 70/30 rule: listen seventy percent, talk thirty percent.

Workplace Example

An RBT says, “Sessions feel unsafe.” The leader immediately gives advice without asking what happened. The RBT leaves feeling unheard.

In your next meeting, speak last for one topic.

Mistake #8: Avoiding Conflict (Then Letting It Turn Into Drama)

What it looks like: You hope the conflict will go away. You hint instead of naming the issue. Resentment builds, gossip spreads, and the team starts taking sides.

Why it hurts: Unfairness, side conversations, team splitting. People lose trust in leadership’s ability to handle hard things. Client care suffers when staff are distracted by drama.

Do this instead: Address issues early and privately. Focus on shared goals and next steps.

Use this script: “Here’s the issue I’m seeing. Here’s why it matters. What’s your view? Let’s agree on a next step and a follow-up time.”

Workplace Example

Two BCBAs disagree on coverage. The director avoids addressing it. The team starts side chats, and collaboration breaks down.

Choose one small conflict you’ve been avoiding. Schedule a fifteen-minute private talk.

Mistake #9: Inconsistent Rules (Or Playing Favorites)

What it looks like: Different standards for different people. One staff member gets remote admin time, another doesn’t, with no clear criteria. Exceptions happen behind closed doors.

Why it hurts: Trust drops fast. Good staff disengage or leave. Inconsistency can create legal and compliance risk if patterns map onto protected groups.

Do this instead: Use clear policies and explain exceptions. Write the rule down. Apply it the same way. If you make an exception, document why and explain the logic at the right level.

Fairness check:

• Is the rule clear and written down?
• Is it applied the same way?
• If there’s an exception, is the reason shared appropriately?

Workplace Example

One staff member always gets the best schedule. Some people get coached, others get punished for the same mistake. Staff notice, and trust erodes.

Pick one “gray area” rule and make it clear in writing this week.

Mistake #10: No Operating Rhythm

What it looks like: Meetings happen only when things go wrong. Decisions get revisited repeatedly. Problems linger because there’s no regular time to solve them.

Why it hurts: Slow decisions, repeated problems, leader burnout. Staff feel like nothing ever gets resolved.

Do this instead: Create a simple operating rhythm:

• Weekly meeting: priorities and barriers
• Monthly meeting: metrics, staffing, one deep problem
• Quarterly session: goals, what to stop doing, assign owners

Keep meetings short, clear, and action-focused. End every meeting with commitments: who will do what by when.

Workplace Example

The same issue—”late notes”—is discussed for six months. No owner is assigned, no metric is tracked, and nothing changes.

Start with one weekly meeting and one shared agenda. Keep it simple.

Workplace Examples: What These Mistakes Look Like in Real Life

Sometimes it helps to see the pattern in action. Here are a few scenarios you might recognize:

Last-minute schedule changes create confusion and resentment. Staff don’t know if they’re working tomorrow. Clients get cancelled. Caregivers lose trust.

No feedback until review time. An RBT finds out in their annual review that their documentation has been a problem for months. They feel blindsided and defensive.

Unclear decision owner causes delays. Every question goes up to “ask the boss,” even small ones. Work slows down. Staff feel micromanaged.

Conflict avoidance turns into gossip. A disagreement between two clinicians is never addressed. The team splits into factions. Client care coordination suffers.

Pick the example that feels most familiar. Write one sentence: “Next time, I will…”

Self-Check: Reflection Questions You Can Use Every Month

Self-awareness is the first step in behavior change. Set aside fifteen minutes at the start of each month to ask yourself:

• Where did I create clarity this month? Where did I create confusion?
• What did I avoid that I need to face?
• Where did I show trust? Where did I take over?
• What do my actions teach people is “safe” to say?

You might also ask:

• What’s my top focus next month?
• What should I stop, start, or continue?
• What problem am I avoiding?

These questions help you spot patterns under stress. If you can, ask a trusted colleague for input. Focus on one change at a time.

Put these questions on your calendar for the first week of each month.

Printable Checklist: Top Mistakes and What to Do Instead

Copy this into a document and keep it near your desk. Pick one item to practice next week.

• Busy ≠ leading. Protect time for priorities.
• Unclear expectations. Define “what good looks like.”
• Weak communication. Say what, why, and next.
• No feedback until upset. Give fast, kind, specific feedback.
• Micromanaging. Set outcomes, boundaries, and check-ins.
• Delegating without support. Give time, tools, and authority.
• Not listening. Ask questions before solving.
• Avoiding conflict. Address early and privately.
• Inconsistent rules. Apply standards fairly.
• No operating rhythm. Use weekly, monthly, and quarterly cadence.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the most common leadership and management mistakes?

The most common include unclear expectations, avoiding feedback, micromanaging, and inconsistent rules. The list in this guide covers the patterns we see most often in ABA clinics. Start by picking one or two that feel familiar and work on those first.

What is the difference between leadership and management?

Leadership is about direction—”where are we going?” and “why?” Management is about systems—”how do we do this?” and “when?” Leadership sets priorities. Management builds plans to make them happen. Mixing them up causes confusion.

What is the biggest mistake new managers make?

The most common pattern is unclear expectations or avoiding feedback, often because of stress or a desire to be liked. A simple fix: define a clear target and give short, kind feedback early and often.

How do I stop micromanaging without lowering standards?

Define the outcome clearly. Set boundaries and check-in times. Use coaching questions instead of taking over. You keep accountability without control by being clear about what success looks like and following up at agreed times.

How can I give feedback without hurting morale?

Keep it specific and kind. Talk about behavior and impact, not character. Offer support and a next step. Do it early, not after weeks of frustration. A quick, calm two-minute conversation builds trust.

Can you give examples of leadership and management mistakes in the workplace?

Yes. A director avoids a conflict between two BCBAs, and the team splits into factions. A scheduler is told to “fix cancellations” with no authority and gets blamed when nothing changes. A lead RBT never gets feedback on documentation until their annual review. Each costs time, trust, and sometimes client care. The fix starts with one small change.

Is there a printable leadership and management mistakes checklist?

Yes. See the checklist section above. Copy it into a document and print it. Use it weekly by picking one item, practicing it, and reviewing with a trusted colleague.

Conclusion

Leadership and management mistakes are common because most of us were never taught how to lead. The good news: small, steady changes build trust over time. You don’t have to fix everything at once.

Pick one mistake that feels familiar. Try one script or tool for two weeks. Set a follow-up date to check your progress.

The best leaders aren’t the ones who never make mistakes. They’re the ones who notice, reflect, and keep getting better. Ethics and dignity aren’t obstacles to good business—they’re the foundation.

Choose one mistake to work on for the next two weeks. Use the checklist, try one script, and set one follow-up date.